Welcome to The Friends Theory, where we use pop culture and story to reframe the way you see your life, work, and what you’re capable of.

This week, we're slicing our own cheddar.

3-minute read.

The One With The Hombre Man

Insights from “The One With the Breastmilk” (Season 2, episode 02)

🎬 Picture it:
Joey's got a job at Macy's selling cologne. Specifically, Hombre. He's dressed as a cowboy, competing with another salesman known only as The Hombre Man — whose spraying skills are, apparently, second to none.

Joey's day job is acting. This is just what he does between gigs. It shouldn't mean anything.

But it does. Because Joey used to be the best. And now he isn't.

Back at the apartment, he vents to Chandler:

I have my own version of this. My own Hombre Man. And for a moment it consumed me. Until the Chandler side of me gave me a good talking to, and I remembered who I am.

Ever Been Here?

I'm doing a YAP Challenge on social media. It's a 40-day challenge where I record and share to-camera video content.

Which my wife thinks is comical — when I told her YAP videos are roughly 60-90 seconds long, she said: "well your problem is going to be getting it within that time."

She's right. Moving on.

I signed up because I've been thinking about doing this type of content for over a year and have been too afraid to actually shoot it. And I keep telling people to face their fears so here we are.

More than 4,000 people signed up for the challenge. And there's this one woman whose content has blown up.

She's 46 (me too). She left a career in fashion because she'd been unhappy for years and finally burnt out (very similar. She left because her body told her to. I left because my boss told me to 😆 laid off, not fired, btw). She's craving a different life (same). She's sharing her story with honesty and vulnerability.

And it sounds like mine.

I didn't like the feelings that surfaced. Jealousy. Resentment at myself for not sharing my story sooner. My confidence took a hit. I thought: I'm too late. Why is her stuff doing well and mine isn’t? (Also, my content is doing fine. It’s just not supersonic).

Those are hard feelings to sit with. Particularly because I strongly believe there's room for everyone. And because I keep telling people that no one else can replicate their story or their unique view of the world. And also because I'm sure this woman is very nice.

She's also not me.

After I replayed that Friends scene in my head I thought: is she really slicing a better cheddar?

No. She's slicing her own cheddar.

When I looked more closely the similarities weren't all-encompassing. Remove the age and the fashion exec part and we were in fact very different. Different stories. Different voices. Different everything.

So I got back to the task at hand. I relaxed. Got some creative energy back.

And I liked what happened next. A lot.

I was positive I'd be worried about people judging me. It’s been an age-old trait. Prior work colleagues thinking "what is she doing" and "that is so cringy." But that didn't happen. I literally do not care what other people think. I only care what I think.

Sure, I still need to silence my inner critic. But that's the only one I can actually control anyway.

It feels liberating.

Plus, three other people have told me my videos inspired them to go for it too. How cool is that!?!

Try This On:

Next time someone else's success makes you wobble, ask yourself one question:

Are they slicing a better cheddar? Or are they just slicing their own?

Because most of the time it's the second one. And that's not competition. That's just someone else being themselves.

There's no finite amount of cheddar. There's no one spot. There's just your version — and whether you're willing to keep showing up for it.

Final Thought

The best thing about this challenge hasn't been the views or the engagement.

It's that it kick-started the old "you can do anything" version of me that existed more in my twenties.

Case in point: I went to a conference, pitched myself to a speaker with a 40-year career in F1. Will it amount to anything? I bloody hope so. But even if it doesn't — I showed up. No comparing. No second-guessing. Just me walking up to someone and saying: I want to work with you and here's why.

The Hombre Man can keep spraying.

I've got my own cheddar to slice.

Besides. She was never really my Hombre Man anyway. That was all me.

See you next week,

Lucy xx

P.S. If you’re feeling unnecessarily like a poor man’s Hombre cowboy, start here 👇

Thanks for reading The Friends Theory. I appreciate you so much ❤️