Welcome to The Friends Theory, where we use pop culture and story to reframe the way you see your life, work, and what you’re capable of.

This week, we’re in a funk and getting out of it without sleeping with a toxic ex.

3-minute read.

The One Where Peter Remembered How To Play

Insights from “The One With Ross’s New Girlfriend” (Friends: Season 2, Episode 1)

🎬 Picture it:

Rachel is in love with Ross. Ross is in love with Rachel. But he’s come back from China with a new girlfriend, Julie. Rachel takes the best possible course of action: she gets drunk and sleeps with Paolo. Now she feels even worse. 

Joey sees Rachel’s struggling. 

Now, I didn't sleep with an ex who made me feel worthless. But I have been feeling like I’m under 50 ft of crap.

Ever Been Here?

There's no better way to describe it. I've been in a funk, and it sucks.

On paper, I have no reason to be in this headspace. Beautiful family. Beautiful home. Living somewhere that feels good. My own business that's doing well. Clients. Friends. Health.

And yet. I’ve been miserable this week. 

If you know me personally, you’ll know that October is a rough month. I now jokingly call it ‘death month’. TBD if that’s going to stick. Why? Well, we have a lot of death anniversaries in our family — my dad, my nan, my dog, my wife's granny, and some others I'm not going to list because it starts to feel like a very grim register.

But I also love October. Halloween! The season’s changing, and I'm getting excited about Thanksgiving (which I won't have anymore lol) and Christmas! It’s never too early, despite what my mum says. (Love you, mum, thanks for always reading my newsletters 😘). My son dresses in a different Halloween costume every other day. So it's a lot of things at once, in October.

So what is this funk? Is it imposter syndrome? Comparison? Is it the world being an absolute sh*t-show?? I don't know. Maybe it’s all three, sometimes all at once.

Try This On:

I think the worst advice for being in a funk is to just push through it, put on a brave face and carry on. 

Respectfully, f*ck that sh!t. (Sorry, Mum). 

I don’t employ that stereotypical British stiff-upper-lip approach. I try to get all American about it and feel my feelings (yes, I know I’m generalising). 

Acknowledging the feelings fully for 5 minutes, then saying "no, thank you," has an effect.


But on some days, it just sucks. And that's how it is.

What I do on days like this is find something I can finish. Yesterday that was:

- 2 hours cleaning and tidying the house. It helps my head.


- A client deck. I can do it alone; it needs all my attention, and I can achieve something.

- Telling a couple of people I'm not great. (This really does help). 

- Telling my mum and sister that I really miss my dad.

As Tesco says, “every little helps.”

Final Thought

Earlier in the same episode, before the 50 feet of crap, Rachel has another banger of a line. 

Ross is telling the gang about how Julie, his old friend from grad school just so happened to be in charge of the dig in China. 

Rachel’s response: 

And that's where I am today. A little less “50 feet of crap” and a little more sarcastic “kick-you-in-the-crotch fantastic: about it..

The humour and the self-deprecation have returned. Which, for me, feels like progress.

October's not over yet.

See you next week,
Lucy xx

P.S. If you’re feeling in a funk and not sure where to start, start here 👇

Thanks for reading The Friends Theory. I appreciate you so much ❤️