Welcome to The Friends Theory, where we use classic sitcom moments to reframe modern life.

This week: Thanksgiving, chosen family, and why the people you pick might matter just as much as the ones you’re related to.

3-minute read. Turkey optional.

The One Where We Made Our Own Thanksgiving

Insights from “basically every Thanksgiving episode”

🎬 Picture it:
For 10 years, the Friends crew spent Thanksgiving in Monica’s apartment.

Not because they had perfect families waiting at home…most of them didn’t.

Chandler’s parents were divorced and dramatic.
Rachel left her family’s expectations at the altar.
Monica and Ross’s parents were a masterclass in favouritism.
Phoebe’s family… well.
And Joey? No one really knows why he wasn’t with his family, other than the VD poster disaster, obviously.

But every year, they showed up for each other.
Turkey, chaos, burnt food, trifle with beef—they came anyway.

Because it made good television? Sure.
But also because you could see yourself in it.

Ever Been Here?

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to mean going “home.”
It might mean:

• Friends around a table instead of family

• Pizza instead of turkey

• Zoom calls instead of airports

• Or just not doing it at all

And maybe feeling weird about that.

Because the world tells us the “right” Thanksgiving looks like a Hallmark special:
big table, big family, big gratitude.

But a lot of people’s Thanksgiving looks a little more… Friends.

Slightly chaotic. Deeply imperfect.
And somehow still meaningful.

My Thanksgiving Reality

I’m not American so I never had the traditional Thanksgiving blueprint.

Last year we had COVID.
The year before…I genuinely can’t remember….maybe we were in England?
And this year?
My wife is in Europe and my English mum—who doesn’t celebrate—is visiting.

And frankly. It works.

Because the Thanksgivings I remember most weren’t the biggest or most traditional.
They were the ones spent with people I love being around.
Chosen family. Actual family. Some confusing combination of both.

Not because we were supposed to.
Because we chose to.

The Friends Version

That’s what the show got right.

They never pretended Thanksgiving was perfect.
Monica stressed over every detail.
Chandler boycotted the holiday out of trauma.
Ross and Rachel fought.
Joey just wanted to eat everything.

But they kept showing up. And they kept choosing each other.

Chosen family isn’t about obligation.
It’s the people who make room for you even when things are messy…
especially when things are messy.

The Reframe

Thanksgiving isn’t about the turkey.
It isn’t about tradition or doing it “right.”

It’s about the feeling.
The people who make the table feel like home. Whether that’s one person, twelve people, or just you.

If your Thanksgiving looks different today…
friends instead of family,
takeout instead of a roast,
or just another Thursday…

It still counts.
Maybe it’s even the better version.

Try This On 

This week, text someone who makes your life better simply by being in it.

Not because it’s Thanksgiving.
Because they’re your people.

Final Thought

The Friends crew taught us something important:

You don’t need a perfect family to have a perfect Thanksgiving.
You just need people—chosen or given—who make your life make sense.

The turkey is optional.
The love isn’t.

Happy Thanksgiving (however you do it).

See you next Thursday,
Lucy xx
AKA Queen of the Reframe

P.S. Thinking about throwing out the turkey? Start here👇

Thanks for reading The Friends Theory. I appreciate you so much ❤️