Welcome to The Friends Theory, where we overthink sitcom moments to make sense of real life.

This week: Monica’s photo system collapse, why I’ve been clinging to an approach that doesn’t fit anymore, and what it actually takes to reset.

3-minute read. BYO Binder.

The One Where The System is Sabotage

Insights from “The One with the Ride Along” (Season 5 Episode 20)

🎥 Picture it:
Monica’s spent hours organising her photos. She’s building the perfect organizational system—categories, subcategories, chronological order by event, dates and likely by facial expressions.

Then, Rachel comes along and it all collapses.

Photos everywhere. System destroyed. Monica’s verdict?

Did Monica learn to make a simpler system? To adjust? Nope. She probably just bought more binders.

And I’ve realised…that’s been me with this newsletter.

Ever Been Here?

I used to have a system that worked. When I started this newsletter, my son still napped during the day. I had 60–120 glorious weekend minutes (per day!) to think, draft, and refine.

Then life evolved. He grew. He stopped napping. My weekend writing time disappeared.

But I kept trying to force the old system. Cue the last few newsletters being fire drills. I even skipped one—though to be fair, I had a LOT going on that week. But here's the kicker: if I'd adapted my system instead of clinging to one that no longer fit, "a lot going on" wouldn't have stopped me.

The truth? I’ve been trying to squeeze a weekend system into weekday reality. Making excuses instead of changing what’s not working.

Why am I beating myself up about something that’s mine to change? Exactly whose permission am I waiting for? It’s not failure to admit a schedule isn’t working. It’s growth to recognise the friction and make a change.

The Real Cost

And my “process” is costing me:

• The joy of writing. It’s hard to be creative when you're always rushing.

• Growth. No time for social sharing means limited reader discovery.

• Better work. Imagine what I could do with planned time instead of panic time.

Why Am I Making This Hard?

Monica didn’t need 47 photo categories. She needed three piles: Keep, Toss, and ‘What even is this haircut?

I don’t need a seven-tiered writing calendar with color-coded themes and backup topics for backup topics. But my current “wing it and panic” method? Also not it.

Ironically, my word of the year is Discipline. Turns out I’ve been disciplined… in self-sabotage.

The Change

So this newsletter is moving to Thursdays.

Why keep clinging to a system that is beginning to making me dread something I love?

Besides—Friends originally aired on Thursdays. Seems only fitting that this newsletter follows suit.

Try This On - Where’s The Friction?

When a system stops serving you, look for the pressure points:

• Ask: Where does this feel hard? Not challenging-hard, but unnecessarily-hard.

• Pick your non-negotiables. For me: one idea bank, one draft hour, one refinement hour, one content hour.

• Change what's changeable. The day, the format, the expectations—most things are more flexible than we assume.

Final Thought

Monica never did learn to simplify. She probably has a color-coded binder for her binders by now.

But the best system isn't the flashiest…

More sitcom overthinking next Thursday (see what I did there?),
Lucy xx

P.S. If you're ready for a new system but don’t know where to start, try here 👇

Thanks for reading The Friends Theory. I appreciate you so much ❤️