Welcome to The Friends Theory, where we use pop culture and story to reframe the way you see your life, work, and what you’re capable of.

This week, we're checking ourselves whilst wearing cerulean.

3-minute read.

The One Where Nigel Was Onto Something

Insights from “The Devil Wears Prada”

🎬 Picture it:
Everywhere I look right now it's The Devil Wears Prada.

When the movie first came out, I hadn't found my way into fashion yet. Living in New York was still a pipe dream — one I figured out about two years later. Back then, I remember wondering if the movie was satire or if fashion really was that dramatic.

I can confirm parts of it absolutely were.

And no, I'm not here to romanticise toxic work culture or tell you to quit your job if your boss is difficult. Trust me, life is rarely that simple.

But after rewatching the movie, there’s a scene that got me thinking.

Andy's just failed to get Miranda home during a hurricane (an impossible task, frankly), and she goes to Nigel looking for sympathy. Instead, he gives her the kind of tough love that either changes your perspective completely or makes you want to throw a handbag at someone.

The annoyingly uncomfortable thing is…he's not entirely wrong.

It's not even about the people who would "kill for the job." It's the fact that Andy thinks she's trying while still standing outside the world she's in, judging it, resisting it, keeping one foot safely out the door.

Every world has its rules. And at some point, you have to decide whether you're observing the game or actually willing to play it.

Ever Been Here?

Take me, for example.

I'm in this whole "let's build a business" chapter of life. And I am trying. Posting, writing, networking, pitching, building. I've done more in the last year than I probably give myself credit for.

But if I'm being completely honest…I'm not fully in it.

Part of me is still protecting myself. Half-hiding. Trying not to need too much from it. Trying not to fail publicly. Trying not to be cringy. Beating myself up for not being further along when I'm only about two thirds of the way through the door.

And here's what that actually looks like in practice.

My world has become quite small lately. I'm in Luxembourg, I don't have a co-working space, I haven't built much of a network here. And I've been telling myself that's fine because all my clients are US-based anyway.

But that's not the point, is it.

I'm not waiting exactly. I'm showing up. But I'm not going all out in the way I know I can. Online, offline, LinkedIn, clients — same pattern everywhere. Present, but with one hand on the exit door.

And trying with one foot out the door is exhausting. Because half your energy goes toward moving forward and the other half goes toward making sure you can still escape if it all goes wrong.

It's not caution. It's self-protection. And there's a difference.

Andy eventually does play the game. New clothes, new attitude, new level of commitment. And it works. She gets better. Sharper. More confident. She proves she can do it.

The interesting part is that she eventually realises she doesn't actually want the version of success attached to it.

But that's very different from never fully trying in the first place.

Try This On:

Think about the area of your life where you keep saying you want more.

More success. More clients. More confidence. More connection. More momentum. Whatever it is.

Now ask yourself a slightly uncomfortable question:

Am I fully in this? Or am I still leaving myself an escape route?

Because there's a difference between moving carefully and emotionally keeping one foot outside the arena altogether.

You don't have to become someone else. You don't have to sell your soul to Miranda Priestly. But at some point, if you want something, you usually have to tolerate being seen genuinely trying for it.

And yes, that's vulnerable. Unfortunately.

Final Thought

I've realised that most people aren't actually afraid of hard work. They're afraid of fully committing to something and having it not work out anyway.

So we hedge. We soften it. We keep part of ourselves protected.

But the game — well you can play it on your own terms. You can bend the rules. You can decide what winning actually looks like for you.

You just have to be fully in it first.

See you next week, Lucy xx

P.S. If you’re half out but want to be fully in, start here 👇

Thanks for reading The Friends Theory. I appreciate you so much ❤️