Welcome to The Friends Theory, where we use pop culture and story to reframe the way you see your life, work, and what you’re capable of.

This week, we’re grabbing more than spoons, baby.

3-minute read.

The One Where I Grabbed More Than A Spoon

Insights from “The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate” (Pilot Episode)

🎬 Picture it:
Rachel’s run out on Barry, left him at the alter. Ross’s wife is a lesbian. It’s a complicated time.

Ross is worrying that there’s only one woman for everybody. That you get one chance, and that’s it.

Joey, of course has other ideas:

After deliberating whether they’re hungry or horny, Ross gives it some thought.

Later in the episode he plucks up the courage to ask Rachel if he could ask her out sometime. She agrees.

Monica sees Ross looking happier and asks what’s going on. His reply:

Let's be honest, Ross didn't have any business grabbing that spoon right then. Not in his emotional state or Rachel's. But he saw a chance and took it (we can argue later about emotional boundaries, don't ruin my point).

I grabbed my own spoon recently. Turns out it might just be a full dining set.

Ever Been Here?

2 months ago I walked up to a speaker at a conference who’s spent 30 years in an industry I love, and I told them I wanted to work with them. And then yesterday we had a call that turned my self-perception on its head.

There I was at the conference. I’m all palms sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy.

And my brain says ‘go and talk to this person RIGHT NOW and tell them what you do’. My body takes over and off I went.

We talked for a few minutes. I asked if they’d be open to a call. They agreed.

We then spent 2 months finding a date. I kept following up thinking both ‘I bet I’m being annoying’ and ‘no way I’m NOT getting a call with this person’

Cut to yesterday.

They have a last minute availability.

Let’s do it.

I got on that call expecting it to be exploratory. Pitching myself without being OTT. Finding a thread and pulling at it.

Instead, they said:

“After we talked I thought ‘there’s a person who understands the serious business of building and influencing brands’. And that’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

Hello? Excuse me? I thought I was the one who was pushing for the call?

Turns out, they wanted to talk to ME.

Those three sentences I’d said, absolutely bricking it, were enough for someone else to see my brain and value within minutes.

The conversation, scheduled for 30 minutes ended up being more than double that.

At one point I actually thought ‘wait a minute, am I being punked?!’

The Reframe:

What you think about yourself and what other people see can be such polar opposites.

I know I'm good at what I do. But after being laid off I wasn't sure. And building your own business is hard. I swear it's 25% business work, 75% identity and shadow work.

I'd spent earlier this week questioning my business, reworking new offers, wondering if I really have what it takes.

Of course I do. And of course I question whether I do.

Try This On:

I don’t have a tidy little tip this week. It’s too clichéd to say “Do it anyway. Do it scared.”

Oh sod off, Monica.

But what I will say is this:

No one feels confident all of the time. Anyone who tells you they do is either lying or unscrupulous, and you don't want to model yourself on either.

But it's what you do in the moments when you don't have all the answers, when you're scared, when you don't quite fully believe in yourself.

Those are the moments that make the difference.

Final Thought

You can't see the picture from inside the frame. But other people can.

Friends, fam, colleagues, strangers you accost at conferences…..they see it. 

Grab the spoon.

See you next week, possibly 😉
Lucy xx

P.S. If you’re feeling ready to grab the spoon but not sure where to start, start here 👇

Thanks for reading The Friends Theory. I appreciate you so much ❤️