Welcome to The Friends Theory, where we use pop culture and story to reframe the way you see your life, work, and what you’re capable of.

This week, we're chasing highs when we should be basking in it all.

3-minute read.

The One After the High

Insights from “The One With The Red Sweater” (Season 8, episode 2)

🎬 Picture it:
The morning after Monica’s wedding, she’s depressed.

Not because anything went wrong. Because it went completely right — and now it’s over. She spent her whole life wanting to be a bride. The dress, the flowers, the day. She got all of it. And the morning after, she’s flat.

Her solution? Open the wedding presents. All of them. Chase the next high. Move on.

Personally, I was on an absolute high the day after my wedding — so maybe Monica and I are wired differently. But I’ve had enough other Tuesdays to know exactly what she means.

Ever Been Here?

It must have been 2002 or 2003. I did a parachute jump for charity.

It was incredible. Proper, full-body adrenaline. The kind of thing that makes you feel briefly invincible. I called my mum straight after, then my (then) boyfriend, talking a mile a minute, still completely buzzing.

I drove straight to his house. He opened the door, excited to hear everything, expecting me to still be on that same high.

And I just…wasn’t.

Not tired. Not upset. Just flat. Like someone had put me on mute (which is hard, I know). He was confused. And so was I.

Fast forward to last week.

I posted something on LinkedIn about it being a year since I was laid off. It took off.

Me: holy sh!t that post got 212k impressions and 5,500 profile views. I’d better not let that go to my head.
LinkedIn: don’t worry, boo. Here’s 860 impressions and 5 profile views for your next one.
Me: ….

The drop after the first post felt familiar. Not because it was new — because I’ve felt it before. That slightly hollow, now what? feeling.

And the instinct that comes right after it:

go again.

Post something else. Check the numbers. Find the next thing that brings it back.

Which, as LinkedIn helpfully demonstrated, doesn’t always work out.

The Reframe

The slump isn't the problem. It's just what's left when the adrenaline clocks out. What's interesting is what happens next.

Monica opens the presents — trades one high for another. It works, briefly. Until she needs another one. And another.

That's not moving through the slump. That's just postponing it with wrapping paper.

I don't think I'm addicted to the high, exactly. I think I just really hate the lull that comes after it. The bit where nothing's happening and nobody's watching. But this is where the real work happens.

Because the parachute jump was still incredible. I still look back on it as one of the best things I've ever done.

It's just the part nobody posts about.

Try This On:

Next time you're in the slump — after something good, not just something hard — give yourself a minute before you reach for the next thing.

Not in a "sit with your feelings" kind of way. Just…don't immediately replace it.

Don't post again. Don't check the numbers. Don't go looking for the next thing that might bring it back.

See what's actually there.

(I’m talking to myself here)

Sometimes it's just the comedown — the adrenaline wearing off, your system settling back down. That passes on its own.

Sometimes it's something else. Something the high was actually covering up.

Either way, you don't find out if you immediately open the presents.

Final Thought

Monica doesn't sit in the comedown for very long. She replaces it with something else.

I think we all do.

Not because the high was wrong. Or the slump means something's off. Just because we're not very good at the bit in between.

See you next week, Lucy xx

P.S. If the bit in between feels like somewhere you could use some help, start here 👇

Thanks for reading The Friends Theory. I appreciate you so much ❤️