Welcome to The Friends Theory - a weekly newsletter where we revisit iconic TV moments to make sense of modern life. Thank you so much for being here.

This week marks one month(!!!) since I hit publish on the very first edition. Fittingly, this one’s all about what happens when we stop editing ourselves for approval—and start sounding like the person we actually are.

(Which, depending on the day, might still include a little chaos and a lot of Notes app drafts.).

5 min read

The One Where We Stop Performing

Insights from "The One Where Joey Speaks French" (Season 10, Episode 13)

Phoebe: “Je m’appelle Claude.”
Joey: “Blerr blah blee bloo.”

Oh, Joey. He’s so sure he’s nailing it. He’s giving confidence. Commitment. (Arguably) Charisma.
But to everyone else? Total nonsense.

Which, let’s be honest, is a lot like how it feels trying to show up in the world as our "authentic selves."

Ever Been Here?

I follow a pattern. Some might call it a “creative process.” I’d call it a slow-motion identity crisis with a Notes app attached.

Here’s how it usually goes:
I get the idea. I start writing. It’s good. But then….
I second guess.
I try to make it perfect—or at least sound smart, helpful, maybe even a bit like what I think you want to read.
I tweak, belabor, walk away.

Then around 9pm, in the dark, I open my Notes app and just… write.

That version? The 15-minute brain-dump draft?
It’s better. It’s always better.
It’s raw. Human. Slightly chaotic. And somehow, exactly what I meant to say in the first place.

True story:

When I launched this newsletter, I completely overthought the content to promote it. Or truthfully, I got scared. Scared people would think it was a stupid idea. Scared people would judge it.

So I spent hours (and I mean hours) thinking about what was trending, what witty thing I could say, what kind of clever content might win approval.

And then, I was sh!t outta time!

So, I let go of the fears, the filters, and the performance. I was so annoyed at myself by that point that I just took a couple of selfies (with greasy hair, no less), plonked some copy on top, and pressed share.

And guess what?
People liked it. They thought it was a great idea. They saw me.

More of that in my life, please. Just on a quicker timeline, if possible.

Try This On

We often spend so much time trying to sound fluent in someone else’s voice.
We perform realness. We polish honesty.
We speak in gibberish trying to be good.

Case in point: me, painstakingly assembling a 17-slide carousel that reads like a TED Talk translated by Google.

But our real voice?
It doesn’t need subtitles.
It needs space. It needs trust.
Sometimes, it just needs a break from pretending.

Because here’s the thing:
This isn’t just about writing or creating or being online.

Conversations go deeper.
Relationships soften.
Work feels more like flow and less like friction.
Even the inside of your own mind gets quieter.

And ironically?
Writing for me is the only way I remember how to write for others.

Funny thing: I gave someone content advice this week — clarity, voice, connection — and halfway through realized: I wasn’t following any of it myself.
Not because I don’t believe it. But because when it comes to your own voice, the stakes feel personal. We all sound a little more fluent when we’re speaking on someone else’s behalf.

Side note: I know the word “authentic” is overused (I cringe typing the word). But I haven’t found a better one yet.
So if you have one, I’m all ears.
Maybe we can rename it together.

Some inspiration to help live life without subtitles….

💌 From the Couch

Last week, a reader (Hi, Ryan 👋 ) replied with a duvet-cover tip, and I had to share the love:

1. Duvet on the bed

2. Duvet cover on top, INSIDE OUT

3. Tie the corners

4. From the head of the bed down roll the duvet and the cover up like a burrito (doesn’t have to be tidy, even, or tight)

5. When you get to the bottom, stuff the burrito through the opening

6. Unroll and magic, the duvet is perfect

I tried it. It worked. I am reborn.

Got a tiny life tip, practical or poetic?
Send it to me! Don’t gate-keep! Let’s make this a weekly tradition. The sillier or more surprisingly useful, the better.

Final Thought

So this week?

I’m not fluent.
But I’m speaking anyway. Gibberish and all.

Je m’appelle Lucy.
And that’s enough.

Lucy xx

Thanks for reading The Friends Theory. I appreciate you so much ❤️