Welcome to The Friends Theory, a weekly newsletter where we revisit iconic TV moments to make sense of modern life. This week, we’re channeling our Inner Monana - the version of us who says yes, shows up, and does it anyway (even if we’re doing it wrong).

4 min read

The One Where We Do It Anyway

(and why your Inner Monana deserves the mic)

Insights from "The One With The Fake Monica" (Season 1, Episode 21)

"She's living my life, AND she's doing it better than me."

Oh, that line.
The one that sneaks in during meetings, mid-scroll, or just when you finally exhale:
You should be doing more. You should be more.

We’ve all been there - watching someone else live loudly and thinking, that’s who I’m supposed to be.

But here’s what I’ve learned:
That version of you, the “better” one?
She’s not your competition.

She’s your compass.

In the episode where someone steals Monica’s identity, one moment sticks.
After days of breaking out of her comfort zone, a tipsy Monica reveals:

As if her bolder, freer self was somehow…more.

But Monana isn’t someone else. She’s just Monica, with the volume turned up. Without the “should I?” before every “I want to.”

And the real Monica, the one who color-codes her towels and gets to the airport three hours early?
She matters too.

We need both.
Structure and spontaneity.
Order and impulse.

It’s not about transformation.
It’s about integration.

When I first moved to New York, I remember walking down 14th Street thinking:
I could be anyone I want to be here.

So I tried on versions of myself.
The polished one.
The one who didn’t second-guess everything.
The one who had it all figured out.

But eventually, I realized:
I didn’t want to become someone else.
I just wanted to stop apologizing for who I already was.

Funny how life works out like that, hey?

You’ll never feel “ready.”
That was the hardest (and most annoying) truth for me to accept.

You can’t learn to drive a car in park.
You can’t think your way into boldness.
You just have to start.

The people you admire? They’re not braver.
They’re just doing it.

As a wise friend of mine said: don’t fake it until you make it, fake it until you feel it.
And one day, you realize… you actually do.

Remember when Monica’s in the back of the dance class, and the instructor yells,
 “You in the back, you’re getting it all wrong!”

And Monica - out of breath but unbothered- fires back:
“But at least I’m doing it!”

Exactly.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be in it.
Trying. Moving. Living.

The thing about self-acceptance though…
It’s not a one-time achievement.
It’s daily maintenance.

Some days it’s a warm bath.
Other days, it’s a full-on street fight with your inner critic.

But showing up anyway? That’s the shift.
Not being “ready.” Not being fearless. Just... being there.

Your turn:

Hit reply and tell me which Monana move you went for.
I made a Reel on Instagram (mildly awkward dancing included)... and yep, I did it anyway 🙃

Some inspiration for your inner Monana (and the Monica who loves her):

Chasing alternate versions of yourself can feel productive, but often the fix isn’t transformation, it’s a reminder:

More sitcom overthinking next Tuesday. Until then, stretch, strut, or just stand there in fabulous trousers.

Lucy xx

Alternatively, hit reply and let me know what you think! It was fab to hear from so many of you last week 🥰 

Thanks so much for reading The Friends Theory ❤️