Welcome to The Friends Theory, a weekly newsletter where we revisit iconic TV moments to make sense of modern life. This week, we’re yelling “PIVOT!” at career plans, big decisions, and all the times things didn’t go quite as sketched.

4 min read

The One With The Pivot

Insights from "The One With The Cop" (Season 5, Episode 11)

Oh, Ross. It wasn’t supposed to end up this way. I mean, you had a sketch.

Funny how life throws a curveball. All the plans, all the preparation, everything looks good on paper and then… and then it doesn’t. It doesn’t look right. It doesn’t feel right.

So, what do we do? Stick to the plan? Keep pushing? Force it to work? Surely, if we just try harder, it’ll all come together. Right?

But the more we push, the worse it gets. And before we know it, we’re exhausted, frustrated, and stuck. Just like Ross’s couch.

So, we pivot. PIVOT! PIVOT!

But what does that actually mean? Are we making a small adjustment, or are we ditching the whole plan? Is the grass greener, or are we just afraid to work the problem? Pivot too early, and we risk running in circles. Pivot too late, and we could burn ourselves out.

Lately, I’ve found myself in the hallway of my own metaphorical stairwell—trying to wedge something big into a space that suddenly feels too small.

Part hopeful, part panicked, all elbows.

It’s that disorienting space between what once made sense and what no longer quite does. And the only thing louder than the self-doubt is the question: what now?

The Career Pivot

We’ve all had the daydream at some point. The hell-blazing, f**k you, I QUIT speech. The toxic boss, the measly salary, the Sunday scaries creeping in before lunch on Saturday. The grass must be greener elsewhere. Anywhere.

But let’s get clear: any job that becomes so toxic it’s wrecking your mental health is 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 worth 👏🏻 it 👏🏻. Period.

Here’s why: you deserve more. You are worth more. And staying in a toxic job doesn’t just drain your energy, it reshapes how you see yourself. And that’s a tough thing to unlearn later.

If you’re struggling to answer, ask your inner circle. Sometimes, the people around you notice the burnout before you do. If your best friend, your partner, or even your barista is saying, “Hey, you seem off lately,” pay attention.

But not every career pivot comes from toxicity. Sometimes, it’s just about recognizing when you’ve outgrown something. When you’re ready for more. When staying put feels safe, but not right.

So, how do you know when it’s time to push through vs. when it’s time to let go?

Let’s break it down.

Ever had an itch you couldn’t quite scratch? A bit to the left, no, to the right—wait, nope, still not there kind of feeling? That’s what it’s like when you’ve outgrown something but can’t quite figure out what’s next.

We’ve all stayed in things too long. A job. A city. A relationship. Why?

Because change is hard.

Because this is what we said we wanted. Because surely it’ll start feeling right if we just give it a little longer.

But here’s the thing:

When I was six, I wanted to be Mickey Mouse. Then I wanted to be a historian. Neither panned out, and I think we can all agree that’s for the best. But somewhere along the way, we start treating our choices like they’re permanent. Like the things we once wanted must still be the things we want now.

But who says? Society? LinkedIn? Your mum?

To quote Friends’ own philosopher, Phoebe Buffay: Who is the boss of you?

Big changes don’t happen overnight. Sometimes, the pivot isn’t a sharp turn but a slow shift—one small decision at a time. And sometimes, it starts with simply giving yourself permission to want something different.

Here are a few things to check out if you’ve got the pivot itch.

Whatever pivot you’re facing, big or small, remember that change isn’t about getting it right the first time. It’s about keeping your sense of humor while figuring it out.

Even Ross got a new couch in the end.

And sometimes, what doesn’t fit anymore is just the invitation to create space for something better—something that finally feels like it was meant for you.

More overthinking of sitcom moments coming soon to an inbox near you.

Lucy xx

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